Rox in the City

Singletons Guide to the Galaxy: A Thrills and Frills Blog

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Saturday Song

Bad weeks: Curable

I got it all this morning. Nothing good though, just stress, tiredness and a bad mood. After a week straight outa hell, it is finally Saturday, and what better way to get it going than singing the Saturday Song?

The Saturday Song has no words, it is actually that old song Tequila, that I always get playing in my head when I am anywhere near a bar. It can be any day really, anytime either. I even heard in last Saturday around lunchtime. But when the song starts, the tequila comes out. Give me some orange, lemon or just straight up, just give to me. I never used to be as fond of it as now, but I am converted. And there ain't no better way to fend off a bad week than a good party, so all together now: da da da-da-da da....

Clearly a man-made invention

Brainwashing: sneaky
Ladies, be advised. If your man gets you one of these, it is not just for laughs. He is trying to condition you. The sneaky bugger, surely whipped cream is simpler?

Monday, September 19, 2005

Superman, oh Superman...

Yup, it just had to happen. Once you have reached the next level of singledom, Rogues begin to lose their cool. Or, more likely, you start seeing Superman around instead, and he makes you wonder why the hell you ever thought the Rogue was all that. Think carefully though, these dudes are trickier than they seem.

The Superman is instantly identifiable by his blue eyes. They twinkle at you endearingly. Then there's the dark curls, the dimples...oh, and the buff chest just waiting to have it's shirt ripped off. Ahem. Anyway, so it's not hard to see the charm there. The Superman doesn't leave it at that though, he also walks grannies across the road, has a kitten, actually reads and is straight. The warning bells usually start chiming at the stage, but sadly they're more than often drowned out by the tinkle of wedding bells in your head. It gets worse, all too often he's also heard them church, next to his wife. Ok, this is the worst case scenario, but still! Supermen are never single; this is another of the Universes little giggles: make a near perfect man, then make him unavailable. Never fails to work, that man will be instantly wanted. And being a Superman, you bet he knows it too.

Just like the holy grail, but oh so much more fun to seek!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Rogues, glorious Rogues...

Recent statistics* have shown that Nice Guys really do finish last. And not surprisingly, Rogues get the girl. So, my theory has been semi-proved: don't be good, be good at it.

* no, my poll was not rigged! If it was the Dimples would have come out tops

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The truth about pick-up lines

Men: unenlightened
They don't really work in real life. Sure, if the line is original and the dude pushing it is amazingly wonderful. But let's face it, mostly the lines are crap and the dudes uttering them crapper. Or, at least misguided enough to believe women actually want to hear them. I've heard a few different types of pick-up's, ranging from opening lines, to sob stories, to flat out grope attempts to faux friendship makers. Most women can spot a pick-up instantly, although the picker-uppers generally fail to notice our subtle reactions and subsequent turn-downs.
So, what's a guy to do?
- Lose the lines. We've heard them all, and the only reaction you'll get will be laughter (contrary to popular belief, this does not increase chances)
- Get over yourself. If you're nervous or insecure, the only way you can work it is being yourself. Trying to be something or someone else will not work. Ditto getting drunk. I once had a guy tell me he was only chatting me up because he was drunk and that he never would have approached me if he hadn't been; this made me feel awful. No women likes a loser; if you think you are one, so will she.
- Don't try and make her feel sorry for you. Yes, it's tragic about your granny/dog/firing, but save it for your friends. Pity never got anyone very far anyway, it's a cheap shot.
- Unless you actually are, do not be buddy-buddy. Sure, I've had guy friends make a move, but I don't bite it when someone I've just met suddenly wants to be my friend. This backfires too, I'll be his friend - but nothing more. (this only applies to guys who've tried to get lucky beforehand, and think this approach may work better)
- Do not, ever, try to grope her. This will lead to a slap in the face at best, and a session with her guy friends outside at worst. This includes trying to take her hand, rubbing her back, putting your hand anywhere on her for that matter, when she does not seem interested.
If you like her, be a man and go and say hello. The risk of her being either not available or not interested far outweighs the chances of her being impresses by your confidence and maturity. It separates the men from the boys after all.