Rox in the City

Singletons Guide to the Galaxy: A Thrills and Frills Blog

Friday, November 25, 2005

Is Chuck the new Hoff?

Goodbye Hoffmania, hello Walker Texas Ranger. Chuck Norris is here baby, if you don't like him it's too damn bad. He'll roundhouse kick you in the face anyway.

Some little known facts about Chuck:

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

More over here.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Living la vida lipstick...the real girrls way

Dion Chang's, or rather Gloria's Guide to Fabulousness, kinda got me thinking about what it is that makes us girls really girls. Is it the walk? The talk?

Most of us chicks have our Weapon of Mass Seduction, which go a fair way in giving us our oomph. But for girrrly girls like me, lipstick girrls, it's being able to get away with being frilly and silly...and still being able to have burping contests with your mates over tequilas and beers. Being able to wear the pinkest dress and the highest heels and climbing over a fence. Squealing over kittens and picking up the spider in the bath. Loving camping and shopping. Listening to Mariah (before she was cool again), and the White Stripes, and Waddy Jones, and BVK and anything else I damn well feel like. Not crying when I break a bone, but falling apart watching a soppy insurance advert.

Maybe Atomic Kitten had it waxed in their name, that about sums up what real girrrls are about: fluffy and hardcore. And if that isn't fabulous, who gives a shit?!

Sugar and nails...that's what girls are made of.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Women's Magazines: Dangerous

Just how dangerous can a magazine be? Ok, subscribing to their propaganda may not cause bodily harm, but they are brainwashing tools of note.

Men's magazines are so simple. Chicks, cars, how to pick up chicks in cars, funny stuff and some useful info, like what to do in a robot invasion, thrown in. No schaltz, no kak. Women's glossies are another story altogether. Somehow, they insist that women need to be told how to Clean Up Your Life/ Get What You Want/ Have the Best Shag Ever/ Lose Weight in Time for Beach Season (and look just like the plasic surgeons girlfriend in the picture of course) in 5 Easy Steps. We are just not good enough the way we are you see, there is always, but always room for improvement. You can never be too thin/ happy/ sociable/ shagable. Not only that, but you would never be able to work out how to resolve these issues on your own. You don't have friends who can tell it like your best mag after all, and who needs a best friend anyway when your magazine can give you all the advice you need? Even how to make friends, it's so handy!

If I needed that much help just living, I'd rather spend my money on a shrink. At least they get you to think for yourself occasionally. I'll get my men's lit for kicks.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Goldenballs: Out Gorgeous George: In

Just when Metrosexual men thought it was safe to leave out the moisuriser, Ubersexual men have emerged victorious, leaving Metro and Hetrosexual men behind. So, what's up with that?
Metrosexual men, such as David Beckham, take grooing to a new level. Their hair is just so, they use a full range of facial products...if not actually at the salon, at least at home. You get the picture. Think pink, but straighter.

Hetrosexual men, such as Colin Farell, are hairy and ugh. They don't know or care the first thing about grooming, let alone personal hygiene. Male Chauvinist Pigs they are.

Ubersexual men, a la George Clooney, are bam-smack in the middle. They groom, but don't bother with facials. They don't worry too much about their appearance, but still always look good anyway. In a nut shell, they are men who aren't given to fussing with their hair, but still recognise a hairbrush when they see one (and know how to use it too)

This is a scaled down version, for more info check out this week's You.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Daytime Soapie Realm

I've been off sick from work of late, and damn if I haven't re-entered the Realm of Daytime Soapies! There's nothing quite as decadent as being in bed, during work hours, watching shows like the Banal & The Beautiful. Well, I can actually think of lots more decadent things, but I'm sick okay! Anyway, so the best things to have on hand when witnessing Rick Forrester's heartwarming tender moments with his bro's chick than a er, shall we say hunk of chocolate. A glass and a Hoff indeed!