Rox in the City

Drum Roll Please...

2006-03-08T15:29:00.000+02:00

People! The moment is upon us...It's Time...

RITC has moved!

Tell your friends! Change my URL on your blogs! Stamp your feet!

But most importantly, check it out - now, now, now!!

Mr. T takes a drive

2006-02-21T14:30:00.000+02:00

This is brilliant. It takes a teeny bit long to load, but what the fuck - it's worth it!

Mr. T takes a drive video.

Killer soundtrack, reminds me of being a Glitter Baby back when Happy House was cool.

Lesson 1: The Nice Guy Issue

2006-02-17T16:19:00.000+02:00

Nice guys never get the girl. True or false?

Sorry guys, but it's generally true. Before you panic, consider these reasons.

- Women are genetically conditioned to look for strong me to protect them.
- Nice guys often seem to be putting on their niceness to score.
- Nice guys can be boring guys.
- There is a wide spectrum between Nice and Bad guys - the ideal guy is smack in the middle.
- Nice guys often lack confidence.
- Women like confident guys who're happy bwing themselves.
- I know lots of hot Nice guys, looks are not always a big motivation.
- Likewise, I know lots of not-hot but sexy as hell Bad guys.
- Being nice is good, but being yourself is better.

And so on. Can you see the logic behind this? Chicks may go for an arb but cool guy - he doesn't have to be a knight in shining armor, he needs to be confident and happy with himself.

I like guys with character, I want to be treated nicely, sure. But the biggest mistake Nice Guys make is assuming that the only types of guy are Nice and Bad.

Top Tip: Stop trying to be a prince, work on being yourself.

New Look in the City

2006-02-14T20:05:00.000+02:00

New year, new look.

That's the basic idea at any rate. Just like the fab job Mark did on Chump Style, I am looking for someone to give my header some va-va-voom!

If they're based in Cape Town I'll take them for a drink, the reward will be a button or link credited their work as well, and my eternal gratitude of course!

Email me if you think you have what it takes: roxannebradnick@yahoo.com

Message to The Masses of Men

2006-02-10T15:35:00.000+02:00

All you men out there, at least those who have difficulty when it comes to figuring out women, rejoice - help is on it's way!

Now, you too can find out how to say the right thing at the right time! No more getting slapped across the face for asking her how she likes her eggs in the morning! No more getting turned down and put down!

RITC will soon be featuring a New and Improved Advice in the City section! Not only will you be able to send me your questions, I will cover a range of topics each week to ensure that there are more satisfied ladies and less clueless men.

This feature will be going up in the next week, stay tuned!

SA Blog Awards: Who's It Gonna Be?

2006-02-07T14:00:00.000+02:00

Yup, it's that time of year. Bigger, better and better exposed, the SA Blog Awards will honour the last year's most cracking blogs. Lots of categories, from Best to Best New, to Best Post and Best Writing...Get your vote on y'all!

Now hurry along and vote already.

Anti-Fashion Fashion

2006-02-07T11:19:00.000+02:00

We live in a world of clones. Fashion is beyond a joke, it's become all about getting "The Look". Every fashion page in every magazine features the same styles, the same looks, the same tips on how to emulate the same celebrities.

The came vintage. At last, fashion developed some individuality! Avid followers began to throw anything and everything together to pull off their outfits. Boho was hot. Boho was The Look. But the Image Factory turned the trend wheels, and vintage became mass-produced and mass-emulated, with chain stores stocking 'vintage' shoes, 'vintage' blouses...'vintage' everything once unique.
Once again, the clones surged forward in their brand new vintage threads.

How does a real individual function in this fashion farce? I cut up my Edgars card for starters, and boycot mainstream shops for another. I make my own stuff, or I support my talented friends who design. I buy second hand nee vintage clothes, and I continue to love clothes...without sacrificing my style on the alter of The Look.

Life is hard...

2006-02-01T15:47:00.000+02:00

Yup, it's hard enough getting though an average day without having to deal with the extra kak the Universe throws at us.

Take this poor teddybear for example. There he was, going about his teddy ways, comforting little kids and whatever the hell else cuddly toys do, when the next thing he knows he's impaled on a unicorn! And if it's not bad enough being a dead teddy, someone decides to turn it into a knitting project!

I mean, what else could possibly have inspired someone to make these 'toys'? And what is truth if it ain't stranger than fiction?

Check out more of these over here. And for more knitwear, check this out.

Why should we have to suffer to be beautiful?

2006-01-31T17:28:00.000+02:00

Killer heels notwithstanding, I won't ever resort to becoming a gym product to look hot. Sorry guys, I know how you love those pin-up's. But in my world, no flat stomach or toned butt is worth being in a room full of machines and mirrors. And as for diets, I don't think so. I eat rather sporadically anyway, excepting chocolate of course. So why make it worse by restricting my fat intake and overloading on protein? Besides, guys may perve over those 18 year olds, but in reality most of the guys I know seem to avoid those types. They ignore me when I'm wearing a hot dress, but suddenly advance when I'm wearing slops and jeans. Go figure.

Indeed. Whatever, here's my P of A for this year: Shaolin Quan. That's it. And if I happen to come out looking like Lara Croft / A Bond Girl / Tank Girl, it'll make the joy of being able to roundhouse kick anyone who calls me babe just so much sweeter.

The Beginning of The End?

2006-01-26T13:16:00.000+02:00

Well, not really. But doesn't it feel that way sometimes? Whatever. January's on its way out, the year is in full swing, and what do I have to show for it?

Well now. I cut off my hair to take a load of my mind. I am getting inked again shortly: a monkey on my back. With any luck it'll keep the others from joining the party. A new job, doing something better somewhere nicer. Some perspective, very handy that - you never know when you'll need a little clarity these days. A bit of reality to toughen me up, and a bit of shmaltz to make me smile.

Throw in some kitten therapy, and a few tequilas and I'm set to go. Living la vida lipstick.

Yup, all that and a bag of chips. Oh and a mantra to end all mantra's:
The journey is the destination.

If you've got love in your sites...watch out

2006-01-15T17:20:00.000+02:00

...love bites. It bleeds.This week just proves yet again that love ain't all roses and cuddles, with a good friend turning to drugs and my sister seeing her man effectively sell himself to a tourist to get out of here. If that wasn't enough of a shocker, the real eye-opener came when I realised how many of our friends have been hurt in the last few months. Enough to get a support group going actually, which is kinda what we will be doing. This one won't involve group hugs and strangers though, more like revenge and plotting.
Yes, yes...I know it doesn't always end in tears, but in my circle, it somehow seems to end in high drama.
One thing's for sure, it makes me glad to be single and uncomplicated!

Are local lekker?

2006-01-07T09:45:00.000+02:00

Guys that is. I've been thinking that perhaps SA guys are not that bad really, when I think about the dubious charms of the exotic men I've seen...like the utterly divine, but overly smitten Swiss surfer who wanted me to take him with me (wherever I was going), or the Ukrainian guy who was so smooth her could slide up walls, aside from his suspect Russian mafia buddies of course. Also the charming Israeli I met on new year's who wanted me to call him, me and every other chick he met that night too that is.
Typical annoying male faults notwithstanding, I'm beginning to think that local is the way to go.

Here are a couple more reasons why local are lekker:

- They're funny and entertaining
- They have a cool vocab, and like to learn new things
- They know what women want
- They (sometimes) make us Proudly South African

The Haloscan Comment Gremlin is out there...

2005-12-15T20:39:00.000+02:00

Yes, I'm a bit slow. They've always had it, they just got it so I finally decided to get it. To switch to Haloscan.I registered, took to short cut with the Install Wizard and finally got it on...only to go online and see that every single one of my comments have vanished! Great. Blogger comments are a pain to use, but at least I had 'em dammit!

If anyone with more techno-sense than me has any ideas on how to get them back, tell me. Otherwise, I guess I'll just have to live with the loss. Boo hoo.

Two Double O Five...Who's ya daddy?

2005-12-07T11:32:00.000+02:00

What a year! Talk about quarter life crisis, my 25th year on Earth has been pretty hectic. So, this was the year that I...

Got not one, but two tattoo's, changed jobs three times, changed hairstyles every other month, lost one best friend to London and regained another in return, lost two old cats and got three kittens, fought and made up with friends, had friends with benefits and lovers with liabilities, snogged people I didn't know and been hurt by people I knew very well, cried, laughed and abided by my new motto: "Life is what happens when you're doing something else".
This was also the year I started blogging, and became a Chump ho. So, here's my bests and worsts:

My Favourite just has to be ChumpStyle. Apart from the fact that they love me too, they have always made me laugh. They write well, they're never out to impress anyone but always end up doing it anyway. And they're kinda cute too.
My Second Favourite is Jo'blog. Rich...got me started, and they are still the Mac Daddy's of the bloggisphere. Even D'ave.
There's also a mass of others, from Die Emmers, to d2, to Kyk Noord, Splattermail...the list goes on.

In January I'll be 1 Years Old in the City, a badly behaved toddler at that...but the beat goes on!

Is Chuck the new Hoff?

2005-11-25T19:29:00.000+02:00

Goodbye Hoffmania, hello Walker Texas Ranger. Chuck Norris is here baby, if you don't like him it's too damn bad. He'll roundhouse kick you in the face anyway.

Some little known facts about Chuck:

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

More over here.

Living la vida lipstick...the real girrls way

2005-11-22T20:57:00.000+02:00

Dion Chang's, or rather Gloria's Guide to Fabulousness, kinda got me thinking about what it is that makes us girls really girls. Is it the walk? The talk?

Most of us chicks have our Weapon of Mass Seduction, which go a fair way in giving us our oomph. But for girrrly girls like me, lipstick girrls, it's being able to get away with being frilly and silly...and still being able to have burping contests with your mates over tequilas and beers. Being able to wear the pinkest dress and the highest heels and climbing over a fence. Squealing over kittens and picking up the spider in the bath. Loving camping and shopping. Listening to Mariah (before she was cool again), and the White Stripes, and Waddy Jones, and BVK and anything else I damn well feel like. Not crying when I break a bone, but falling apart watching a soppy insurance advert.

Maybe Atomic Kitten had it waxed in their name, that about sums up what real girrrls are about: fluffy and hardcore. And if that isn't fabulous, who gives a shit?!

Sugar and nails...that's what girls are made of.

Women's Magazines: Dangerous

2005-11-14T19:22:00.000+02:00

Just how dangerous can a magazine be? Ok, subscribing to their propaganda may not cause bodily harm, but they are brainwashing tools of note.

Men's magazines are so simple. Chicks, cars, how to pick up chicks in cars, funny stuff and some useful info, like what to do in a robot invasion, thrown in. No schaltz, no kak. Women's glossies are another story altogether. Somehow, they insist that women need to be told how to Clean Up Your Life/ Get What You Want/ Have the Best Shag Ever/ Lose Weight in Time for Beach Season (and look just like the plasic surgeons girlfriend in the picture of course) in 5 Easy Steps. We are just not good enough the way we are you see, there is always, but always room for improvement. You can never be too thin/ happy/ sociable/ shagable. Not only that, but you would never be able to work out how to resolve these issues on your own. You don't have friends who can tell it like your best mag after all, and who needs a best friend anyway when your magazine can give you all the advice you need? Even how to make friends, it's so handy!

If I needed that much help just living, I'd rather spend my money on a shrink. At least they get you to think for yourself occasionally. I'll get my men's lit for kicks.

Goldenballs: Out Gorgeous George: In

2005-11-06T18:47:00.000+02:00

Just when Metrosexual men thought it was safe to leave out the moisuriser, Ubersexual men have emerged victorious, leaving Metro and Hetrosexual men behind. So, what's up with that?
Metrosexual men, such as David Beckham, take grooing to a new level. Their hair is just so, they use a full range of facial products...if not actually at the salon, at least at home. You get the picture. Think pink, but straighter.

Hetrosexual men, such as Colin Farell, are hairy and ugh. They don't know or care the first thing about grooming, let alone personal hygiene. Male Chauvinist Pigs they are.

Ubersexual men, a la George Clooney, are bam-smack in the middle. They groom, but don't bother with facials. They don't worry too much about their appearance, but still always look good anyway. In a nut shell, they are men who aren't given to fussing with their hair, but still recognise a hairbrush when they see one (and know how to use it too)

This is a scaled down version, for more info check out this week's You.

Daytime Soapie Realm

2005-11-03T19:38:00.000+02:00

I've been off sick from work of late, and damn if I haven't re-entered the Realm of Daytime Soapies! There's nothing quite as decadent as being in bed, during work hours, watching shows like the Banal & The Beautiful. Well, I can actually think of lots more decadent things, but I'm sick okay! Anyway, so the best things to have on hand when witnessing Rick Forrester's heartwarming tender moments with his bro's chick than a er, shall we say hunk of chocolate. A glass and a Hoff indeed!

Desparate Gold-Diggers

2005-10-27T20:49:00.000+02:00

I gave up watching television when Brooke of The Bold & The Beautiful had her son-in-laws baby. Ok, there were other reasons apart from this, but it just strengthened my resolve to abstain from the big brain drain. Anyway, it was clearly a wise choice judging from the level of crapness now gracing the box each night. The ultimate has to be reality TV. I mean, the idea in itself is funny enough without SA models of the real thang. Reality? Please! And as for the dramas...Desparate Viewers sum it up just right. Somebody in La-La Land needs a wake up. And producers need some decent creatives to brainstorm some viable content that really reflects Real Life. Just like...

Desparate Gold-Diggers

12 young blonde chicks
1 filthy rich millionaire octogenerian
12 scheming future mother-in-laws
Assorted unsuspecting ex-boyfriends, male friends and pool boys

One lucky lady will get to marry a rich, ailing man. Each week, someone has to go. Who will be tempted by the pool guy? Whose mother will wreck her chances? What will they do to get to the top? And will the old guy live to the final episode?

The new reality-drama, Desparate Gold-Diggers...she'll stop at nothing to get what she wants.

The story of my body art

2005-10-19T19:27:00.000+02:00

This year was a good year for tattoo's. I got two of them, pictures below. The first one is my star sign, the second a Thai numeral 5, which is my lucky number. It's also the number of tat's I plan to have before I get on the needle wagon. As Rich...! once said, once you get bitten by the needle, you become a slave to it's ink. No more piercings though, I got my belly ring way back in the days when it wasn't trendy and that's all the metal I plan to have. I'll settle for having mettle instead.

2005-10-19T19:22:00.000+02:00

Along came another one.

2005-10-19T19:20:00.000+02:00

Then there was the first tattoo.

2005-10-19T19:19:00.000+02:00

In the beginning was the ring...

Blogger-Bashing

2005-10-18T20:00:00.000+02:00

This month has really not been a lot of fun. In the space of a few weeks I've resigned, taken the rest of the semester from classes off (to redo it next year) and now I can't even post the one good thing that's happened this month AKA my new tattoo. Blogger Images is against me, it's joined the Universe for Anti-Rox Month it seems.

So what's a gal to do? I can't shop, payday is still too far-off. I can't drink, same reason. That leaves Def Leppard, tea and chocolate. Now if only I had a dimpled, superman with a roguish sense of humour and a girly caring nature to give me a back rub...

Career Guidance 101

2005-10-04T20:40:00.000+02:00

So the other day I was barefoot, in the kitchen, right in front of the stove even, when the urge to be a housewife hit me. It isn't the first time I've had these musings, come to think about it similar circumstances were involved too. Whatever, I am sick of offices, sick of stress, sick of work. What I want is leisure and luxury, or job fulfullment at the very least. Whether I get this through finding something more suitable, or finding someone suitable remains to be seen, but if it is the someone, there are some firm guidelines.

1. I'll cook if he pampers. Massages, presents, candlelit bubble-baths and feeding of chocolates by hand are a fair exchange for a cooked meal. I am a good cook too.
2. Housekeeping. No more battles about dishes, ironing or similar.
3. Income. He brings it, I spend it. (but I can bring in my own if needs be)
4. He goes out with his friends, I go out with mine, we both go out together. If you can't party with your husband / partner, why are you sleeping with him?

Of course, all my other specifications still apply, as seen previously. So, changing direction job-wise is a much more simpler path to career satisfaction. Since my ideal job of Professional Party Goer seems to be non-profit, I think I'll do it for free.

The Saturday Song

2005-09-24T10:13:00.000+02:00

Bad weeks: Curable

I got it all this morning. Nothing good though, just stress, tiredness and a bad mood. After a week straight outa hell, it is finally Saturday, and what better way to get it going than singing the Saturday Song?

The Saturday Song has no words, it is actually that old song Tequila, that I always get playing in my head when I am anywhere near a bar. It can be any day really, anytime either. I even heard in last Saturday around lunchtime. But when the song starts, the tequila comes out. Give me some orange, lemon or just straight up, just give to me. I never used to be as fond of it as now, but I am converted. And there ain't no better way to fend off a bad week than a good party, so all together now: da da da-da-da da....

Clearly a man-made invention

2005-09-24T10:03:00.000+02:00

Brainwashing: sneaky

Ladies, be advised. If your man gets you one of these, it is not just for laughs. He is trying to condition you. The sneaky bugger, surely whipped cream is simpler?

Superman, oh Superman...

2005-09-19T21:51:00.000+02:00

Yup, it just had to happen. Once you have reached the next level of singledom, Rogues begin to lose their cool. Or, more likely, you start seeing Superman around instead, and he makes you wonder why the hell you ever thought the Rogue was all that. Think carefully though, these dudes are trickier than they seem.

The Superman is instantly identifiable by his blue eyes. They twinkle at you endearingly. Then there's the dark curls, the dimples...oh, and the buff chest just waiting to have it's shirt ripped off. Ahem. Anyway, so it's not hard to see the charm there. The Superman doesn't leave it at that though, he also walks grannies across the road, has a kitten, actually reads and is straight. The warning bells usually start chiming at the stage, but sadly they're more than often drowned out by the tinkle of wedding bells in your head. It gets worse, all too often he's also heard them bells...in church, next to his wife. Ok, this is the worst case scenario, but still! Supermen are never single; this is another of the Universes little giggles: make a near perfect man, then make him unavailable. Never fails to work, that man will be instantly wanted. And being a Superman, you bet he knows it too.

Just like the holy grail, but oh so much more fun to seek!

Rogues, glorious Rogues...

2005-09-07T12:29:00.000+02:00

Recent statistics* have shown that Nice Guys really do finish last. And not surprisingly, Rogues get the girl. So, my theory has been semi-proved: don't be good, be good at it.

* no, my poll was not rigged! If it was the Dimples would have come out tops

The truth about pick-up lines

2005-09-03T16:53:00.000+02:00

Men: unenlightened

They don't really work in real life. Sure, if the line is original and the dude pushing it is amazingly wonderful. But let's face it, mostly the lines are crap and the dudes uttering them crapper. Or, at least misguided enough to believe women actually want to hear them. I've heard a few different types of pick-up's, ranging from opening lines, to sob stories, to flat out grope attempts to faux friendship makers. Most women can spot a pick-up instantly, although the picker-uppers generally fail to notice our subtle reactions and subsequent turn-downs.

So, what's a guy to do?

- Lose the lines. We've heard them all, and the only reaction you'll get will be laughter (contrary to popular belief, this does not increase chances)

- Get over yourself. If you're nervous or insecure, the only way you can work it is being yourself. Trying to be something or someone else will not work. Ditto getting drunk. I once had a guy tell me he was only chatting me up because he was drunk and that he never would have approached me if he hadn't been; this made me feel awful. No women likes a loser; if you think you are one, so will she.

- Don't try and make her feel sorry for you. Yes, it's tragic about your granny/dog/firing, but save it for your friends. Pity never got anyone very far anyway, it's a cheap shot.

- Unless you actually are, do not be buddy-buddy. Sure, I've had guy friends make a move, but I don't bite it when someone I've just met suddenly wants to be my friend. This backfires too, I'll be his friend - but nothing more. (this only applies to guys who've tried to get lucky beforehand, and think this approach may work better)

- Do not, ever, try to grope her. This will lead to a slap in the face at best, and a session with her guy friends outside at worst. This includes trying to take her hand, rubbing her back, putting your hand anywhere on her for that matter, when she does not seem interested.

If you like her, be a man and go and say hello. The risk of her being either not available or not interested far outweighs the chances of her being impresses by your confidence and maturity. It separates the men from the boys after all.

Show me the dimples

2005-08-28T19:10:00.000+02:00

Ok. Rogues, nice guys and girly guys aside; what I really want is dimples. Not on me, on him.

I like dimples because they come out when someone is smiling. That, and the whole boyish charm thing. I'll take a night with the Rogue, and be spoilt rotten but the Girly Guy, I'll even go on a few dates with the Nice Guy. Some of them may have dimples, some may not. Some may treat me like shit, others may be the best thing since sliced bread. This is why being single is always exciting. You never know what will happen, there's always potential. Yes, there is always heartache and stress along the way, that's life. Shit happens. There's also lots of fun and adventures. You make new friends, you learn alot and most of all, you learn to love your life. I'll get it right eventually, in the meantime, I'm sure they're a lot more types of men still out there. Older men, toyboys, firemen...bring on the dimples!

If you can't be a rogue, be more like a girl

2005-08-24T19:31:00.000+02:00

Yes, I mean girl. I don't mean girly, I mean how girls treat each other. This is how men should treat us. A friend of mine was wondering why men can't be as attentive and loving as our girl friends are, which includes the following things men can learn from:

- Our girl friends aren't too pussy to tell us the love us
- Our girl friends know how to make us feel good about ourselves
- Our girl friends know what a compromise is, and how to make one
- When we're sick, our girl friends come and cheer us up
- When we're stuck on blind dates from hell, our girl friends rescue us
- We can drunkenly call our girl friends at 04h00 to talk to them for hours
- We can behave as badly as we want, and our girl friends don't lecture us
- They are happy to go shopping with us for the whole day
- They know what we like, and don't like, and don't get it wrong
- We can talk, gossip, skinner and dish...and they listen to us

I could go on, but these are the most important things for men to try and learn from. Us girls could probably learn from men too, but seeing as how I already know to to change a tire and a lightbulb, there's not much I still need to know. Still, I somehow feel more inclined toward the chromosone-challenged. What can I say, I see dimples and I'm sold! ;)

Putting the O into boudoir

2005-08-21T19:14:00.000+02:00

At last, something for the ladies. Shops like Kink and Lady Chatterley's Chamber have given us something to smile about. Edible undies made out of sweets, feather-trimmed masks, all sorts of toys, beautiful lingerie, whips and goodies can be found in these decadent boudoirs. Think pink, think frilly, think girly. The shops are men-friendly too, they can watch their partners trying on goodies through the peep holes in the changing rooms for extra thrills. It's about time women had something like this, why should men have all the fun? We want to play too.

What nice guys can learn from rogues

2005-08-13T16:38:00.000+02:00

Women just love a bad boy. A night with a rogue is just what a girl needs to feel like a romantic novel heroine. Nice guys can never understand this, but they could learn a thing or two from the rogues.

1. Rogues always surprise us. Never predictable, they keep us guessing.
2. Rogues are super-confident. Ok, arrogent perhaps. Nevertheless, they are sure of themselves.
3. Rogues never claim to be anything other than rogues. No bullshit, no issues.
4. Rogues are heterosexual. As in, not metrosexual of course. No silly hairstyles, no manicured nails, they are masculine.
5. Rogues are not scared to get down and dirty. They will tackle shagging, protecting their chicks, fixing stuff and danger with relish.

(note: rugby playing yobs are not rogues. Rogues are men of the world, like Indiana Jones, hot firemen or Han Solo)

"Honey, let me just finish this, then I'll take you shopping."

2005-07-28T21:01:00.000+02:00

So, why should the rest of them make such a fuss? Because, Perfect Man has learnt how to please a woman. Mere mortals can too, here's how:

- It's tit for tat in this game, you get what you give. Give her something to sigh about, and she'll reciprocate.

- If he hollers, tie him up. An old tie and a can of whipped cream are all you need to make him do whatever you ask.

- If he's still not getting in to the right frame of mind, bring out the whips and cuffs. In extreme cases, a camera works pretty well too.

- If all else fails, girls just give up and accept the poor bugger for being normal, at least he tries. And guys, we all know that Perfect Men generally have non-prefect parts!

Man Management 101

2005-07-24T20:38:00.000+02:00

I have almost solved all my man problems. Not that I have one at the moment, but they still cause problems. In my case, it's usually because I never seem to choose the right one. I used to think that having The Perfect Man was the solution. I now know of course, that this is not possible as no such man exsists. So, on Friday night, I suddenly came up with a better idea. Here it is:

Fashion experts always say that you don't need loads of clothes to dress well, you just need a few items you can mix and match. So, it seems logical that you don't need a perfect man, rather, you need a few men who have one or two perfect traits. In the same way you can mix and match your outfits, you can mix and match your boyfriends. You need one who's hot and good in bed, one that you can party with, one who's clever, and one who's romantic. Date them all simultaneously, and viola: A pefect Man

I still haven't tried this theory out yet, so I can't be sure. Still, it will be fun if nothing else.

CBD in the City

2005-07-21T19:12:00.000+02:00

Cape Blogger Dinner that is. Hosted by Die Emmers, this will be the second in hte Blogger Bash series. This one will be held at Carlyles in Vredehoek, on Thursday 4 August.

Die Emmers team could probably make up a soccer team, there are that many of them, so it's bound to be a good turn out. I will be there, perhaps even in my White Strapless Dress. If that's not reason enough to check it out, consider this: Die Emmers are extremely fond of tequila's and parties, so it will be a real shoo-wow.

Go and RSVP over here.

Update: true to Cape Town form, the dinner is now on Wednesday 3 August. One week away.

Does it matter?

2005-07-20T20:16:00.000+02:00

Carrying on with my rating system, there are a few things to consider when hooking up with someone. These points need to be weighed up to see if it is worth the effort of going there.

1. Size? Yes and No. The real issue here is more the motion of the ocean, but obviously the size of the boat is a valid concern.
2. Age? This is hard. One one hand, younger guys are cooler, more fun, have more..stamina, and looks are on their side. But then again, they may not have great jobs, and they don't have much experience. How to choose? If you're looking for fun: toyboy. If you're looking for baggage: older man. Note: guys of the same age or just about often have the worst of both traits.
3. Money? Ok, while I love the idea of presents, I don't care about this much. As long as he's solvent, with an actual job, he's in the game.
4. Looks? Hm, that's easy: dimples - check. That's all it usually takes. I don't have a type, blond, red, brown, whatever.
5. The move? I don't bother with moves. I just like to talk and drink. If he buys me a tequila and makes me laugh, I will oblige.

That done, I generally hit and run. I always somehow end up changing my mind, hell knows why. Perhaps it's because if I score, the game is over. When you play to win, rather than for the love of the game, you don't have anything left after you claim your prize. What do I do? Tough call, I either stop playing, or aim to get to the final level. At least I can have some fun along the way.

Really getting to know you

2005-07-18T21:23:00.000+02:00

You know those emails, the one's that you're supposed to send to all your friends, filling in questions like 'what are you listening to right now' or 'what was the last thing you ate' and, god forbid, 'who / what inspires you'. Phuleese! How the hell does that help me know people better? These are the kind of things I end up discussing with random people at the bar, and it doesn't show anything relevant at all. So, i came up with a new list of questions. This list will make you wish you hadn't asked, but trust me, after this you will definatly know your friends. Really, really well.

1. When did you last bath / shower?
2. When was the last time you threw up after too much booze?
3. Who was the last person you shagged, and was it any good?
4. What was the last recreational drug you took?
5. Ribbed, studded or edible?
6. Favourite position?
7. At what age did you pop your cherry?
8. Have you ever tried S&M?
9. Does size matter, and why?
10. How many tequila's can you handle before losing the plot?
11. Have you scored the person the sent this to you?
12. Who is most likely to respond, and how do you rate your chances with them?
13. Have you ever been kicked out of a club / bar / public toilet?
14. Have you ever faked an orgasm?
15. Do you really want to know these things about your friends?

Penis Envy? I think not!

2005-07-14T20:16:00.000+02:00

Sing along to the melody of "I Will Survive"...

(piano intro)

At first I was afraid... I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches,
Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long
That I grew strong...
And I knew that I could take you on.

But there you are... another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a Frenchfry!
I should have known that it was bull$hit, just a sadpathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans!
Go on now Go...walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't catch you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count???!

(Chorus)
I will survive! I will survive!
'Cause as long as I have batteries my $ex life is goingto thrive!
I will always have good $ex with a handful of latex!I
will survive! I will survive!
Hey! Hey!

[Verse II]
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud!
But to hell with all your egosand to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

(Repeat Chorus)

Good Girl with Bad Intentions?

2005-07-11T20:18:00.000+02:00

I am a player. This startling discovery came to me after I realised that I have stopped caring if a guy I have scored has called or not, in fact after I have actually forgotten about him altogether. I had to be sure that this was not just my short attention span though, so I came up with a quick test to check my player aptitude. This is how I checked:

1. How many scores have I made this month?
2. Am I keeping track?
3. Do I give out my number to guys and then not know who they are when they call?
4. How long do I stay keen on a guy?
5. Do I have commitment issues?

I did badly. Without elaborating, let's just say I am now in no doubt that I am in fact A Player. But, I don't like that term. I am not a ho, I am not a biatch, and I do have a conscience. I am, therefore, a Good Girl with Bad Intentions. Single? Hell yeah! Desparate? Never.

It's All Relative and other life lessons

2005-07-05T09:46:00.000+02:00

Since my descent into the next three-quarters of my life, I have learnt a number of life truths. The most important lesson to date has been that all problems are relative. However bad things have been, someone else has something worse to worry about. Likewise, someone else has just had their best day ever. Even in my own life this applies; everytime I think things can't get worse / harder / better / weirder, the universe plays its next practical joke to make me realise that It's All Relative.

Here are a couple of lessons in relativity.

Bad: No lemon to put in my Hunters Dry
Worse: No Hunters Dry at all

Bad: Drinking and dialling someone you shouldn't have, and not remembering what you said
Worse: Getting the restraining order the next day, and going through call register

Bad: No action for a few months
Worse: A lousy drunken shag

Bad: Falling out of a stopped taxi
Worse: Falling out of a stopped taxi sober

I can go on for ages, my life is one big lesson. On a positive note, some good things get better.

Good: Discovering blogging
Better: Getting my own blog
Best: Having a deranged fan or two, the status of being mentioned here often (boys, xxx), and
of course, a bit of competition.

2005-07-02T13:11:00.000+02:00

easter eggs explained

2005-06-30T19:58:00.000+02:00

having cake

Depravity Bear

2005-06-24T19:50:00.000+02:00

Cuddly Smut

Ok, I know it's girly, but so what. Nothing like a spot of S&M to get the mood on. Bondage, baby! This feisty fellow can be found here, along with some other toys and goodies.
In other bizare news, Cape Times had a hysterical story about a cow and bull getting it on, crashing into a shop (literally, through the windows), breaking 4 panes of glass and smashing up a few displays in the process. Must have been quite a shag!

Reptile Romance

2005-06-19T09:53:00.000+02:00

A classic leg-over situation

Animal porn is funny. This one especially, as it loks like the poor dudes fallen off or something. It's also not often to see lizards, or any reptiles for that matter, caught in the act. So, this is my contribution to the Smut Fest. Round 1.

Smut in the City

2005-06-14T21:07:00.000+02:00

In the interest of maintaining a competetive spirit in the bloggisphere, and since it's all being done all over the place anyway, I propose a Smut Challenge. ChumpStylers, Salaam's, JanFF etc. take note, this shouldn't be too hard for you to achieve. It's simple, everyone posts their smuttiest smut, readers can chose their favourites, we can have a vote from there. Easy.

Ok, so here's the catch: no human porn. Sorry boys, that means that anything featuring Paris will automatically be disqualified. It can only be animated, animal, cartoon, teddy-bear, hell even furniture, as long as it's non-human.

So, if any of you are up for it (no pun intended there), show me what you got. My addition to be posted soon.

Thong in cheek

2005-06-09T21:31:00.000+02:00

Couldn't have summed it up better myself. A single gal mantra if ever there was one, goes well with the 'seemed like a good idea at the time' rationalising.

Ain't nuthin' but a G-string baby...

2005-06-09T21:29:00.000+02:00

Yup, it's pretty tough sometimes. But hey, it has it's perks. World domination is like, so hot right now.

Bunny Hugger in the City

2005-06-06T21:51:00.000+02:00

Cats: Cuddly

I am a bunny hugger. I am, really. I am vegetarian, I don't wear fur, I don't use products that have been tested on animals and I have assumed myself to be aware of these things. But recently I was shaken out of my habitual cool when I discovered that pet food is tested on pets. And I don't mean that Fluffy gets a lifetime supply of Chicken Crunch either. I mean dogs having chunks of muscle removed from their legs to test the effect diet has on muscle tone. I mean cats having their stomachs exposed to test out a new fibre-increased diet. IAMS is responsible for these tests and more. Ironic as hell, animal lovers feeding their beloved pets food that has indirectly caused other pets to die. As I can't go and release all the lab pets and burn down the lab, the next best thing is to boycott their asses.

It's my last one, but you can Hoff it

2005-06-02T21:16:00.000+02:00

Microhofft

No really, I just couldn't help myself. You'd have thought the ChumpStyle Hoffnotic Speedo thing would have put me hoff, but sadly, I just don't hoff any will-power. Somebody just gag me now, please.

Why can't I hoff a chance too?

2005-05-31T22:47:00.000+02:00

Hoff 2 Panado and call him in the morning.

Ok, ok...I know it's supposed to be over, but I couldn't resist this one. It's not Hoffer until the Hoff says it's Hoffer after all.

While stocks last

2005-05-28T10:05:00.000+02:00

Men: Whipped

This years must-have gadget, now going for a unbelievably low price of just R 1, 333.99. Ladies, get yours now.

Blogger Bash in the City

2005-05-27T19:18:00.000+02:00

I had a blind date with about 8 guys last night, talk about weired! That's kinda how it felt when I first rocked up, late for my own party. It got better after the frozen marguerita's though, and better still after the awesome food. The tequila's topped it off. In beween all those, I met some cool people, we got to see the cat, and I was forgiven for not wearing the dress.
Yup, the Blogger Bash in the CityTM was such fun that I got thinking about starting a Blogger Bash in the CityTM thing where bloggers all over can get together in their respective cities. Thursday's are perfect for this, and after payday is ideal. So, each blog should take turns to host a Blogger Bash in the CityTM on the last Thursday of the month. It's a fab way to meet, network and get more readers. Try it.

2005-05-27T19:17:00.000+02:00

Die Emmers

2005-05-27T19:16:00.001+02:00

Rich...in the City

2005-05-27T19:16:00.000+02:00

The Resident Bar Cat

This Just In...

2005-05-25T21:44:00.000+02:00

Due to the Fat Cactus trying to impose a set menu on large parties, and the lack of proper RSVP's, I have made the following plan:

- Those who have given me definite yay's will be booked (this includes all special guests and
such) at the table for dinner.
- Those who aren't sure, or haven't let me know can still rock up, and chill at the bar and wait for
a table.
- Either way, after dinner we can make a plan to hook up.

It ain't ideal, but at least everyone can still meet this way. Anyone not eating can rock up anytime after 20h00.

See ya.

Blogger Bash Revised

2005-05-19T20:09:00.000+02:00

After much deliberation the new venue for my Blogger Bash will be...

Fat Cactus (47 Durban Rd, Mowbray). It's dingy, they play 80's rock, they sell frozen marguerita's by the jug, they even have a resident cat that sleeps on the bar. And of course, the food rocks.
So, if anyone is keen for a party, check it out. Special guest appearances will be Rich...! of Jo'Blog, Martin of D2 and the seldom seen Cherryflava. And topping off the evenings entertainment will be my WMS.

RSVP me here or in the comments section.

p.s. Sadly, I cannot sponsor the whole shebang. What is can offer is this:
- Frozen marguerita jugs donated by moi
- Special Guest Appearances (and maybe a speech if we're lucky)
- Guaranteed sighting of the Resident Bar Cat
- I shall brave the elements and don my WMS aka White Strapless Dress
- Whatever else the night brings, at least we can see how Cherryflava is!

So, breath a sigh of relief it's the day after payday, and start the weekend with a hangover!

Lawn Chairs getting Jiggy

2005-05-05T22:06:00.000+02:00

Position of the Week

My god, this has got to be one of the funniest things I have come across lately. A buddy of mine told me about it a while back, in fact after checking out my Kitty Porn post. I only went onto it now, but it was worth the wait!

Drinks in the City

2005-05-02T15:20:00.000+02:00

Tee shirts: motivational

In the interest of networking with fellow bloggers, partying and of course, finding out who Cherryflava is, a Blogger Bash is being plotted. Sadly for those outside of CT, it will be held here. Here is the lowdown...
Date: the last Thursday of the month, which is 26 May.
Time: 20h00ish
Venue: Asoka Son of Dharma, Kloof St, Cape Town
What to expect: due to financial restaints, no free booze, but my WMS AKA White Dress will be there, you can meet other bloggers and perhaps a fan or two. And who needs a reason to party?!
Anyone who is interested can RSVP in the comments section, or by email.
As the tee shirt says "It's now or never".

Why Women Love Vin

2005-04-24T19:57:00.000+02:00

Axe: powerful

Scientists have recently uncovered that the pill can cause women to be attracted to men with muscles. It all comes down to hormones, of course. Most girls already know this, as there can be no other reason for wanting to rip the pants off a boring, average looking dude who happens to be 'built like a brick shithouse' as my dear GBF so eloquently puts it. Anyway, I'm getting all flustered just writing about it, back to the point. This is that females judge the opposite sex in a similar way males do. It has alot to do with the instinctive need to find a viable partner who is likely to be a sure bet reproductively. Kinda like men drollong over big busted chicks with big booty: hormones again. Chicks are the same, we coudn't give a shit if Vin is dull, gay or otherwise, likewise the ripped dude next door who washes his car with his shirt off; as long as they look good, we will imagine them handcuffed to our beds. Sadly however, mostly fantasy is better than reality. As many ladies learn the hard way, built men are often seriously lacking in other areas. Further proof that the universe does indeed have a sense of humour.

Guys: now you know.

Message from Stringfellow Hawke

2005-04-20T20:19:00.000+02:00

Helicopters: hijacked

"It has come to my attention that a couple of wannabe hero's have been vying for popularity. I cannot keep silent about this any longer. This stupidity must stop.
The Hoff is a loser with bad hair. His car, Kit turned out to be a cheap Mazda with souped up mags. He may have been cool once, but he lost all credability when he tried to break out on his own by playing, of all things, a lifeguard in a speedo. As for McGyver, he conned millions of impressionable boys into believing that a wad of chappies, some scooby wire and a penknife could hotwire the neighbors car. His mullet set an even worse example, and both of them endorsed those vile tan leather jackets. But the thing that they really falked on was their target audience, which was teenage boys. While these boys were suffering from their delusions of coolness, their female frineds and relatives were sighing over me and my tight uniform, moody looks, sensitive nature, penchant for playing the cello at sunset and my troubled past. I may have been a basket case in real life, but hey, I was smart enough to keep my Airwolf persona intact. And it worked, the networks are reviving my series. So, ladies, drop those zero's and get with the hero."

Sex and the Kitty

2005-04-14T21:59:00.000+02:00

Position of the Week: Kitty-Style

Tres simple, an elegant version of doggy. No kitties were er, harmed during the making of this shot, because they're actually models. Kinky kitties indeed! Prrrrrr.

Leave: Unlikely

2005-04-11T21:59:00.000+02:00

It seems like so long ago. The sun, the booze, the beach...Kool Bay has got to be the best beach in Cape Town. The water is not freezing, so one can swim. Ok, so the currents are pretty hectic and there are warning signs everywhere. So what. It's not too packed, as Clifton 4th is on a hot Saturday arvie. The best thing is camping there. All that's needed is a tent, a big-assed torch, a bikini and a shit-load of booze. Swim, lie around, drink, whatever. When the party got in full-swing we played strip ching-ching-cha. I am crap at drinking games, always lose!
This is my Winter Pick-me-Up post. And no, I'm not in the picture for once. If you look carefully though you may see my toes, I was sitting on a mini ghetty when I took it. Cocktails, anyone?

8 April is National Cleavage Day...

2005-04-07T22:30:00.000+02:00

WMS Round 3

Can I have my prize now please?!

Friends with Benefits

2005-04-04T12:00:00.000+02:00

This weeks' Impossible Question: When is a Friend Not a Friend?

When he (or she) is a Friend with Benefits of course. But are the benefits worth the risk? It is a common situation, and while booze plays a strong role, it is not always to blame. They tend to come in varying forms; such as Casual Friends, who you end up with somehow during a booze-filled night; Good Friends, who you have had flings with as teenagers and still occasionally pull; and then there is the Very Good Friend, who you suddenly see in a different way. If you act on this, you are playing a whole new game, if you don't, you will always wish you had. You are fucked either way. So, what to do, what to do? Tres simple: Weigh up the benefits. Do a dimple assesment. Do a warm-and-fuzzy-feeling check. Monitor your heart-rate. If the signs are good, get jiggy with it.

2005-03-30T22:26:00.000+02:00

TFWMS

Why settle for a weapon when you can have an arsenal?

2005-03-30T22:14:00.000+02:00

After all, being a female I am blessed with a full armory of WMS, it's practically a birthright. Sure the White Dress is my main weapon, but I still have loads of backup. A Double-Whammy will posted above shortly, in fact it's more of a Triple-Function Weapon of Mass Seduction. The wonderbra is obviously my distraction tool, and I can tell you it's foolproof, the boots are the brainwashing tool, being knee high suade, any red-blooded male will have fantasies about those puppies, and of course, the dress is short and um...sweet. So there you have it. My Triple-Function Weapon of Mass Seduction (TFWMS).

Can I have my cake now?

2005-03-24T06:39:00.000+02:00

Weapons: Loaded

Weapons of Mass Seduction

2005-03-21T20:15:00.000+02:00

Almost every girl has one, some have more. It could be that dress, killer push-up bra, perfume or heels. It is used for the important interview, the hot date, the bad day or whenever we need a boost. Weapons of Mass Seduction. Mine is a little white strapless dress, tres simple, downright churchy, but effective anyway. Whenever I wear this dress things happen. Doors are opened for me, shopping bags are carried for me, drinks are bought for me, little old ladies stop me in in the street to tell me how fresh and cool I look etc. etc. The thing is, this dress is just the thing to get me feeling good. That's just one more reason to shop: getting more weapons! After all, if a single weapon is effective, surely an arsenal would be even more so?

Work it out

2005-03-14T22:11:00.000+02:00

Work: Why I Aspired to be a Housewife.

Ok, I am exagerating. In fact, this is a prime example of duo logical reasoning.
Before my climb to the bottom of the career ladder, all I could see was the money,
the glory, the connections and such. The days of lying in bed until afternoon, the
huge mid-week parties, the care-free lack of resposibilities...it all seemed so wasted
and pointless. Fast forward a while and it's pressure, deadlines, accountablity, night
classes to further the studies, tiredness and that awful realisation that somewhere
along the line I have become a grown-up. God, it's enough to drive a women to shop.
Which of course is what I have been doing. That and partying. But now days parties
don't get the same reaction out of my poor, overworked liver.
To cut a long rant short, I assesed the sitch and saw that perhaps it was not work as
a whole that was dominating the quarter-life-crisis, but just my job itself. So, being the
ever-pragmatic Taurus I am, I ditched the zero, and found a hero. But not that kind of hero,
more along the workfront. So, come May, the big 25 will be accompnied with a new job.
And I was saved from enforced domesticity!
All in all? A happy birthday it will be indeed! And quarter-life-crises be damned!

2005-03-10T21:42:00.000+02:00

Something for the sisters!

Cleaning out my closet

2005-03-03T22:19:00.000+02:00

Shoe problem? What shoe problem?

The only problem is coming across a killer pair way after payday,
and not being able to buy them. Besides, my fetish extends far past
fancy footwear. Perfume, bags, clothes, hell anything that sparkles
will do nicely. I am not bothered about labels either, if I like it, I buy
it - cheap shit or chic bits, I want it all. Financial restraints keep me
from la la land at least, but a girl has to have fun. Even if it is once
a month. It makes a cool hobby too, now if I can just find a rich
hubby to sponsor me I'll be able to take it up as a sport! I would
get my colours in a single morning at Cavendish!!

2005-02-28T21:49:00.000+02:00

Happy Payday

Full deck

2005-02-15T11:05:00.000+02:00

Relationships: risky

Aah, a nice bit of post-valentines cheer! Yes, it is somewhat of a Bunny-Boiler logic, but funny all the same. And besides, what women can actually claim to have never had these thoughts about
men? There're varying degrees of psycho-chick-thoughts. Mostly it falls into the "men are such dickheads, but I like them anyway" variety. This applies to any male behaviour from toilet seat ettiquette to ogling the next door neighbour washing her car in a bikini in front of the significant other, with a good dose of drunken-idiotness thrown in. This is common in Smug Married/Together Couples. In a single gals world, girls are more prone to the "He didn't call, the bastard" and "You two-timing rat" with the occasional "Are there any straight/single/rich/love gods left?" angst
scattered in for good measure. I mean, sure, men are often the baddies, but it is
easy for women to just blame it on men, when we cause just as many sleepness nights,
and turmoil for men as they do for us.

Taking the bull by the horns

2005-02-09T20:03:00.000+02:00

A bit of bull

At last, finally got my first tattoo. Very happy with it, except that it
is scabbing, but it should heal soon. Want more!
Today I came accross the funniest site, http://www.tashitagg.com.
The e-mails to various people are a laugh, and with the day I had, I
so needed that. There's nothing like opinionated people, just look at
blogging. It's the perfect vehicle for one to force one's views on the
unsuspecting public, but mostly it's just whatever happens to be
in our heads at the time. This dude has a cool approach, taking the
piss out of people, and it is very well written too. I didn't get time to
really check out the whole site, so I don't know if it's a blog or what,
but I like.

Bond, James Bond.

2005-02-03T21:26:00.000+02:00

The last Brosnan Bond role

This one is predicted to be the most thrilling Bond movies made,
and has already been tipped for an academy and golden globe.
Bond is involved in a diabolical peach's plan for world domination,
he has to use all his charm and gadgets to prevent the peach's evil
ploys. He is further troubled by the gorgeous, but deadly Worman,
whose seductive schemes ensnare him. Will he destroy the peach, but
save the bimbo? And will peach vodka be used in his next martini?

Coming soon.

Knicker No-No's

2005-02-02T20:02:00.000+02:00

G-Strings: Strained

Girls, Visible Panty Line (VPL) is not glam, but if you have an arse like this, it is infinitely better
than this. It's a case of "if the thong fits, wear it". I have to wonder though, what has she sat on?
It looks as though she has several pets and maybe the whole couch swallowed up there!

Men in uniform

2005-01-31T20:01:00.000+02:00

You can leave your hat on...

What is it about men in uniform? Is it the hero thing?
I reckon so, I mean somehow men in say, council uniforms
just don't have the same effect as men in um, fireman hats.
Of course, the fantasy is usually better than the real thing in
most cases, one only has to look at a local cop, and all thoughts of being
handcuffed and arrested suddenly seem sobering rather than
thrilling. And fireman, doctors and builders are just as bad, if
not worse. There are however, men who live up to these fantasies...
Navy Boys. Most of them are young, buff, clean shaven and eager.
All the necessary traits any self-respecting toy boy should possess.
And the best part? The whole 'Officer and a Gentleman' thang.
Even if they usually turn out to be dirty, rotten scoundrels,
that just adds to the charm, after all, there's nothing like a bad boy
to get those fantasies going.

The Next Best Thing to a Perfect Man?

2005-01-26T20:44:00.000+02:00

Egos: inflatable

I can't believe it's taken me so long to reach the
conclusion that there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Yes, I know I'm a bit slow to only realise now, but a girl
can dream can't she? Women are a bit strange in their
logic when it comes to men though. Many would rather be
with any man instead of being single. Then you get the gold-diggers
who only date rich men, whose credit cards are their only hope.
Other chicks have a thing for pretty boys, who trade them in for
an upgrade after 2 weeks. But boys, don't fret, there are also girls
who have a thing for normal guys, who are footloose and baggage
free. Some are born that way, others grow up to be like that.
The conclusion? Guys, women are just like men in many ways,
they just don't fart in public or piss standing up. And ladies?
If all else fails, get a doll. They never piss on the toilet seat.

It's a Hard-boiled Life

2005-01-25T21:00:00.000+02:00

When bad things happen to good eggs

I wish I could say that no eggs were
eaten during the making of this picture,
but I didn't take it, and they are only eggs,
so who cares anyway!

Can anyone help this man?

2005-01-23T09:54:00.000+02:00

Shame, someone has to help this poor, poor man.
Anyone able to assist, dial 0800-SAVEBRAD now.

Hottie in the City

2005-01-20T21:29:00.000+02:00

Torsos: panty-dropping

Remember that surfer-boy I mentioned?
Sadly, this wasn't him. Ladies feast your eyes
on this specimen. Another use for chocolate.
Gentlemen, you can eat your hearts out instead. ; )

Serving suggestion: melt chocolate over boy. Serve.

More choc-porn.

2005-01-19T20:24:00.000+02:00

As promised, a chocolate post.

This is the type of chocolate a
single gal would buy all for herself, simply
because when it comes to chocolate,
bigger is undoubtedly better.

Free Advice in the City

2005-01-18T21:45:00.000+02:00

Tee-shirts: Helpful

Yes, I know it's a bit blurred. What's a girl to do?
FYI it reads IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
It's my fav tee at the moment, very good way to
live one's life. And just for the record, I do not wear
this out when I party.

Chocoholics Rejoice!

2005-01-18T19:11:00.000+02:00

Chocolates: Porno

Gentleman, take note. This is what you buy her when you're in the shit. Also good for singles in dry times. Or sob sessions, whenever! Who needs a reason to eat chocolate anyway? Available in assorted variants, for all tastes.

Problem solving, girl style.

2005-01-17T20:28:00.000+02:00

Male-proofed Toilets: Now on Sale

Ladies, order now and end those endless power battles. Now selling at stores nationwide.
Buy now while stocks last. Also available in pink.

Laying the ghost from the past.

2005-01-14T03:16:00.000+02:00

Yup, it's confirmed - the universe definitely has a sense of humour! No
other explanation for the bazaar way this happen. The ghost in question is
an old flame, that I thought I had burned to the ground, but like a phoenix,
has popped up out of the ashes, just when I thought my life had gotten to a
reasonably sane point. But, as I have said, men are funny. This one hadn't
made any contact for over a year, he abides elsewhere. The baffling this is
that he was actually in Cape Town recently, but instead of calling then, the
boy waits until he's back to call. Male logic, I'll never get it.
Today's lesson? It's a total waste of time trying to control fate, and it
makes no difference anyway. So just go with it.

Swiss miss.

2005-01-12T21:51:00.000+02:00

Men, such funny creature sometimes, especially foreign ones. Or maybe that's just a Toy Boy thang. Like the delicious Swiss boy I met a while ago. I was under the impression that the Swiss were fairly straight-laced type of dudes, but these guys were even more chilled then most of the Cape Town manne! The lucky buggers were bumming around the Cape for a few months, surfing, partying, hitching around without having to work (ok, they sound local I know, but really) all with the parents cash. The one I liked best (dimples) was a sweetie, but way too eager, bit like a puppy actually. So, here is tonight's intellectual poser: why is it that a guy will only call if you're not interested? My theory is that firstly, everyone loves a challenge, and secondly, the universe has a wicked sense of humour!

How To Lose a Girl in 10 Seconds.

2005-01-11T20:19:00.000+02:00

Last month I had the somewhat dubious honour of having a boy, a surfer-boy, have a nose bleed on me. Now, while men can sometimes do things like this, for me it's a first. Luckily (for him that is) I was somewhat trashed at the time, so he got off lightly. It was all going so well, and he was very cute, with dimples. I guess that's one of the low-lights of surfing, apart from having chapped lips and salt ravaged nostrils, being soooo laid back, that when you commit this kind of passion faux pas, it's just, like you know, shweet. Purleeees. I thought after my encounter with the Navy Toy Boy, I would be a better judge of character, but alas, it wasn't to be. It all comes down to a very simple thing: dimples. I have a dimple fetish, is there anywhere out there that I can go to be cured? Anyway, have decided to start being more picky from now on. No toy boys or surfers; must have dimples though, and money, and a big....boat. Will have to see how long that lasts, my usual standards tend to dodgy men.
With that sobering thought, here's my Motto Of The Day: If you can't be good, be good at it.

A Blogging Affair...

2005-01-10T23:12:00.000+02:00

It's not the men in my life that I worry about, it's the life in my men!

Well now, judging by the recent encounter with a surfer-boy, I have to agree. But more about that soon...
This blog will be open to any kind of anything, be it boys, girls, shoes or chocolate. I will divulge, share, inspire and entice!

For my very first post, let me start with a shout out to the darling boys at Jo'Blog, for kindly pointing me in the right direction. Gentlemen, much obliged!

Please join me tomorrow night for the full story...